Session 1 : Cook's Assistant

Previously on OSRS Solo Homebrew

• Thaddeus was introduced to the world of Lumbridge
• He killed a rat, and acquired a piece of rat meat
• He talked to the Cook, who needed help gathering ingredients.

Part 1 : The Flour

Thaddeus looks at the list as he leaves the Lumbridge Castle Courtyard. “Flour, Milk, Eggs.” It sounds simple enough. He is acquainted with the local farms, and knows he can source all of the ingredients from nearby. Cook has even given him some hints. First up is the Flour, which can be made at the windmill to the north of Lumbridge. Sarah, the owner, can help him with it.

Out of thin air, a Highway Man appears! “Stand and deliver!” he declares jovially. Thad holds his hands up, until the highway man breaks down laughing. “Oh man, scaring new pla…I mean new adventurers always makes me laugh. You are a good sport. Here, take this money.” He slides 10 GP into Thad’s coin pouch. “Until next time, old chap.” Then, he vanishes without giving his name.

“Well… that was random,” Thad thinks.

Thad arrives at the windmill slightly confused, and Sarah can see it on his face.

Sarah has her own problems to deal with. Her windmill is across the field from Fred The Farmer, who owns a sheep farm. A new sheep has been wandering the farm, and Fred treats it like any other. But at night, she swears, it takes off its costume. And it isn’t alone. She’s seen them.

“Penguins!” she exclaims. “Penguins?” Thad replies, confused. “Don’t penguins live up in Rellekka?” She stares into Thad’s eyes deeply. “Yes. That’s where the KGP is stationed! That’s what I hear them whispering about at night. KGP this, KGP that. Why are penguins speaking the common tongue, anyway?”

Thad looks her in the eyes, and can see she didn’t sleep last night. Possibly not the night before, either, judging by the weight of the bags under her eyes. “Get some rest, Sarah. I’ll figure this out!”

Thad picks up a spare clay pot that Sarah has lying around, and ventures out to the wheat field. He grabs the wheat, and stuffs it in his backpack. Then, he climbs to the very top of the windmill, two ladders up. At the top, he throws the wheat into the hopper, and pulls the lever. The grain whooshes down, grinding the wheat into fine flour. He collects it up in the pot, slides a cover over it, and moves on to the next item on his list.

(Chaos Factor Up by 1. Now 6.)

Part 2 : The Milk

Thad travels to Groats Farm, where he can acquire milk and eggs. First, he heads to the Cow Fields. These are the Lumbridge Cow Fields, famous across the land as the best place for beginner adventurers to train their combat before exploring the world. Death does not have much domain in this world, and cows cannot logically pay the death taxes that come with dying. The cows simply respawn, as if nothing happened.

Oswald has talked about meeting Death once, on a pilgrimage. He starved himself intentionally to commune with one of the Gods, when he was testing his faith. Instead, he ran into Death, who promptly took his gold, and sent him on his way. Thad hoped he’d never suffer that fate.

Thad smiles and waves. “JESSICA!” he yells. She does not hear him. She is busy chasing one of her father’s chickens that escaped the pen. She has just run from the field to the chicken coop, with a very angry rooster in tow. Maybe he will see her later when he needs to get an egg.

He finds Gillie Groats, Jessica’s mother, tending to her prized cow, Betsy. They had a record sales year, and it was all down to Betsy producing the best milk this side of the River Lum. “How are you doing, Mrs. Groats!” Thad calls enthusiastically as he jogs up to her.

“Well, if it isn’t Thaddeus. How are you doing, son?” She returns the greeting just as enthusiastically. “Have you heard the crazy stuff Sarah has been ranting about? Penguins? In Lumbridge?” Thad sighs. “Yes, ma’am. I just came from there, actually. She was saying something about the KGP. Wild stuff.”

Getting back on track, Thad asks, “Do you have a bucket, Gillie? I need to do something really important for the Duke’s Cook.” She smiles, reminiscing about old times. “Ahhh, yes, Chef. Did I ever tell you about how I met him? Back in school?” While she’s misty-eyed over her younger days, Thad takes the fresh bucket from her hands and presses 5 GP into her palm. She watches him go.

“By the way, if you see Seth, stay away from him. I heard he is mad today!”

(Chaos Factor Up by 1. Now 7.)

Part 3 : The Egg

Thad runs into Jessica as he is entering the field. She is just emerging from the chicken coop. The angry rooster is still screaming from inside, though not as loudly as before. He is so dumbstruck when he sees her, he doesn’t realize he has left the gates open, and a hen has slipped by him. “Thaddeus!” she cries. “Now look what you’ve done.” She rushes by him, trying to catch the runaway before it gets too far.

Seth was not the happiest man on the best of days. On the worst of days, he could be quite a handful. He gets clumsy when he is mad. Thad can hear him moving around in the house. Now is his chance to try and steal an egg.

Motivation Reroll

He musters up all his strength. This is the first step he is taking on the way to adventuring. He can’t let this stop him now. If he doesn’t steal this egg, then someone else will. He reaches in, and tries to take the egg.

As his hand wraps around the egg, he hears the door slam behind him. “Thaddeus, you son of a bitch!” Seth has his pitchfork and is glaring at him, menacingly. “First, you steal my eggs. Then, you plan to steal my daughter. I see the way you look at her. I’m gonna give you to the count of three to get off my property.”

Thaddeus does not need to hear that twice, and slips away out of the gate sheepishly, as Seth calls out “…two…”. Thad uses his foot to nudge a hen back in as he closes the gate, making sure she does not escape. Seth grumbles and goes into the house. Seth never liked Thad, and Thad suspects he just made it worse.

Part 4 : Wrapping up

The rain picks up, and Thad has to tuck into a barn for the night. He is used to dank, damp places to sleep, so hay in a barn in the rain is not the worst place to bed down.

Catalyst Reroll

That night, dreams of gold and marrying Jessica fill his head. He hopes they bring him good fortune in the morning.

He wakes up in the morning to see that the sky has cleared. It was just a passing storm. The sun shines bright, and sweat rolls down his brow as he walks in the humid morning air on his way to Lumbridge.

Cook meets him at the front. “Thaddeus! Thank god you survived! Did you bring the stuff?” As he hands off the ingredients, he asks, “You aren’t mad?” “No, boy, no. That storm last night? The Duke was tied up with the Archmage all night arguing about it. It was a magical storm, caused by a recent Lesser Demon summoning at the peak of the Tower a few days ago. Some residual energy passed through after. He showed up right when you left, actually.”

“Anyway, all of this to say, the party got postponed to today, when the Duke could attend!”

Thad looks at him. “Can I come to the Duke’s party?”

“No way. You are the ratcatcher, after all. You did a good thing today, but don’t forget who you are, my boy.”

With a laugh, Cook heads toward the front doors of Lumbridge Castle. Over his shoulder, he calls, “Don’t be a stranger, though!”

Quest Complete - Cook’s Assistant
Rewards : +1 Cooking, Access to Bank in Lumbridge Castle, Access to Lumbridge Castle Facilities.

Downtime

As the night passes, and the Duke parties, Thad rests his head on his bedroll in the sewers below. He thinks that the hay was more comfortable last night. Still, he smiles as he drifts off. Today, he took his first steps towards glory and adventure!

• +1 Thieving (Used this session)
• Downtime Activity:
  • Talking to Bob at Bob’s Brilliant Axes
  • +1 Woodcutting